Tuesday

I woke up at 3:30 to a very insistant voice – “Kate!” But no one was there. I check Joy, who had crawled in next to me, but she was fine. I tried to go back to sleep, but there was this nagging feeling. So, I went to check on Grace, who has been coughing for a few days. She was hot. Hot hot. And clearly not comfortable, though she slept.  I found the thermometer, grabbed the motrin and went to mommy work. An hour later she seemed fine, still sleeping. I checked on her every time I woke up the rest of the night. (First time I’m thankful for the effects of pregnancy on my sleep.) I’m scared of fevers, after one spiked suddenly, bringing with it a seizure.  It’s been years, and years, and I know I am lucky in having that experience only once. Still. That stays with you.

When our house woke up, I was trying to figure out how to conduct my day. Most days are easy for me to reshuffle, but I was seeing not one but two doctors, and neither felt like places to bring a sick kid.  Luckily, my husband took her to work, where she sat on a couch and watched lots of Dora and Dinosaur Train. I love that her first thoughts were missing a few last week activities! But mama, today we were going to show off this… Of course, if she isn’t well by Friday I think I may never hear the end of it. It’s pajama day! So virus, if you’re reading, get outta here by then, okay?

On the way to the doctor’s, I was behind a big black SUV. It swerved this way and that, trying to see around a work truck. It was a one lane stretch of road, there was no way around, and I said, ‘come on, buddy, we all get there.’ I meant of course to our current desitnation. Of course, we don’t always get where we were meaning to go. Things happen. But, my mind went to that true inevitability in life. We do all get to an end, eventually. And yet, we spend so much of our precious days looking ahead, trying to see past this curve or over that obstacle. We forget to be here. As I was doing when I turned into the parking garage. I hate parking garages. I was grumbling in my head about the awfulness of paying to park, the spinning circles, the extra time it takes always, when a little voice said, ‘Going up is fun.’ Joy, in the back seat was smiling hugely, enjoying this ride she was on. Ooops. Me and my pondering took me away from my now. And how says the garage isn’t fun? We get to spin and loop, and woosh down! Breath.

After the second garage, we went to get Grace from the office. As we waited, I called the pediatrician. I though a cough followed by fever is something to check out. It was nap time, but we still hadn’t had lunch and I was tired and so was Joy. And I still had to run to a store to get some necessities. Visiting the land of cows for lunch seemed like a good idea,and so we did. As we pulled into the parking lot for the big store, Grace said, ‘I think I left bear behind.’ My first reaction was cruel. That’s what comes of taking things around. You’re in charge of taking care of your stuff…. But, I breathed. I remembered losing things. And I thought of turning around, but what of the possible nap? No. I called, and they put it away safely for us to get when we could.

As we rounded the final bend, almost forgetting the very necessities we came for, I got the call back. And we had to set an appointment. I had an hour and a half. And If I didn’t lie down, well… I was going to at least sit. The girls watched more tv, ate snacks, relaxed. Both were ready for a nap when it was time to go. Of course.

At the doctor’s office, I offhandedly mentioned these strange little bites Grace had been getting last week. I couldn’t find any bugs, so then I thought maybe it was a contact rash of some sort. She does have sensitive skin. Still, I couldn’t figure it out! The doctor looked at it all very carefully and listened to her breathing and her cough. Viral Bronchitis. Those bumps, they were a rash that started the whole thing. Oh. It’s it interesting how much we see things through our own experiences, isn’t it. Of course I know that rashes are indicators of viral disease (that seizure, it was from a fever from hand foot and mouth, but the ER docs didn’t look their first and instead spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to get a urine sample to see if it was a UTI). But, my mind was focused on bites or bumps. And due to the length of time, we got a prescription.

Back to the store. Where I forgot dishwasher soap. Again. Third time in two days….